Back again guys, new blog, new story to tell! If you’re a mom, then you probably have experienced a little bit of #momguilt. You know what mom guilt is - that nagging feeling that you aren’t doing enough, maybe feeling sad about going back to work after childbirth, and trying to be a “perfect mom”. I’ll be honest, I’ve never met one, but if you have - send her my way!
I remember when it was time to head back to work after I had Laylen. It was SO HARD! I cried, I begged, and even tried to negotiate more time away from work because I was not ready to leave her with someone else all day who wasn’t me! I went back when she was 13 weeks old and for some moms - they have to go back sooner. I really empathize with you all, no matter when you get back to work and have to leave. I realize not all moms go through this feeling and guess what? That’s okay too!
I do think we all put sooo much pressure on ourselves! The oversharing of our lives on social media probably doesn’t help that either. So going to work or working in any capacity that shifts our priority or focus from our kids can make us feel bad. Instagram has us thinking about things like... “Wow, that mom is able to (do xyz), while I have to work 50 hours a week” “I wish I could take my kids on this vacation like (so and so)”. I’ll be honest, my #momguilt tends to fall into either “over planning” (aka doing the most) and “Perfectionism”.
I am naturally a planner so I fill up our weekends with activities and if I don’t, I feel BAD for my girls (as if I didn’t just work 40+ hours, work my side hustles, be a good partner, and mom all week long). So, I tend to make sure we have activities ready to go and my kids pretty much expect that these days. If I say no, I hear “we want to go somewhere” or “can we do something today, mommy?” and usually I say yes - even when I just want to say NO!
I would say my perfectionism lies in trying to feel like I always have things in my life - including my kids - under control. But, if I’m really honest with myself, I’m still learning how to manage it all. It seems like things change from day to day with them and just when I have it figured out, they throw a curveball! So, I hope you read that and remember - it’s okay to not have it all together and stop fearing that you will fail as a parent! #Yougotthisgirl
Last thing, I promise. It’s likely that you have so many things in your life that you are struggling to juggle. Do not feel bad if you’re a mom who has to leave her kids at daycare or with grandma while you earn your paycheck. Don’t feel bad telling the kids they are staying in this weekend (talking to myself). Don’t feel bad if you couldn’t breastfeed as long as you wanted to. You’re giving it your BEST, your ALL, and quite honestly -that’s all you can do!